The Doctor needs a Song
by Doctor-River
Summary: The Doctor hasn't seen her in months, is his concern for her more than he thinks, could it possibly be love? There's only one way to find out...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I was inspired to write this by one of recent Youtube videos. .com/watch?v=YcKphrlYXt4 I wanted to expand on the idea and after sending the plot to a brilliant author, PrettyPinkOrchard (read her FanFiction! It's super brilliant, I command you!) and she confirmed that it would make a good story. So, here's part 1...**

Chapter 1: The Feeling... of Love

The blue Police Box was floating in space, a quiet part of it-the part where he goes to think. The he was standing at the controls, his hands placed on the panel; he was motionless... with a look of seriousness across his face. His companions entered the room, wondering why they weren't going anywhere or doing anything.

"...Doctor?" Amy called out. "Earth calling Doctor!" she chimed as she walked over to him with Rory closely behind. Her eyes were focussed on him standing there, not responding.

"Is he okay?" Rory questioned.

"I don't know..." Amy said over her shoulder. "Doctor?" she was now standing right next to the Doctor. She waved a hand in front of his eyes.

"Yes... hello, what?" the Doctor finally responded. Amy was stunned by his unusual response. He faced her with a serious expression.

"Are you okay? You seem a bit different." Rory asked. He was concerned.

"I'm fine. Just thinking..."

"Are you thinking about River?" Amy thinks she's solved it.

"No, yes... maybe...why?" he sighed out of aggravation. "It always involves River, with you doesn't it, Amy? When ever I'm thinking, it has to be about her?" he snapped.

"Because..." she began her explanation, she ignored him snapping at her. "We haven't seen her in months and whenever you do see her, you have that look on your face." She finished off pointing a finger to his face. She was trying to lighten the mood.

"It's true, you know." Rory added siding with Amy. Even though he's only had a couple of run-ins with River.

"You're in love with her!" Amy accused. "I knew it, I so knew it!" she studied his face carefully. "It's that face you pull when you have that feeling for someone. That face right there... The face of love..." She pointed to his face again. She added emphasis on the last four words.

"No, no I'm not." The Doctor wasn't too sure of himself. "I haven't told you this but, the first time I met River was the last time she'd meet me. It makes me hurt every time..." He sighed.

"So you mean..." Rory said.

"...She died and I couldn't do anything to save her, she sacrificed herself to save over four thousand lives and I can't ever tell her that. Can you imagine that guilt I feel every time I see her, I see her save the universe, do something amazing or just pop in for a visit?" The Doctor looked into Amy's eyes, then Rory's. "I have to keep that secret from her right up until that day comes, and when I'll never see her ever again..."

"Doctor, I'm so sorry. I... I didn't know." Amy apologised.

"I know, now if you don't mind, I would like to be alone..." The Doctor mumbled.

"So, where does that leave us then?" Rory asked, not wanting to leave.

"Home..." the Doctor sternly replied. He flipped some switches and pressed some buttons. Both Amy and Rory stood in place, shocked.

"But, are you going to be okay on your own?" Rory questioned, refusing to move. The pair's concern for the Doctor was strong, but he didn't care, he just wanted to be alone to think.

"Yes." The Doctor sighed as he began setting the co-ordinates.

"Doctor, don't make us leave you. We can help you get through this." Amy placed a hand on the Doctor's shoulder.

"No, you can't." He replied in a flat tone, not holding eye-contact with her. "... Not this time." Amy was somewhat offended by this but, she chose not to argue any further.

The TARDIS was materialising on the grass outside Amy's house a few seconds later. He opened the doors and guided the pair out. "I'll come back for you." He promised standing in the doorway.

"We want to help you, let us." Amy pleaded, although she was regretting stepping outside those doors. Rory placed his hands on her shoulders, stopping her from running back to the TARDIS. He understood that the Doctor needed some privacy, everyone does at some point.

"Don't be too long, we don't want you to feel guilty and have no one there to comfort you. We're here for you, Doctor... we'll be waiting." Rory quickly added as the Doctor walked back into the TARDIS, leaving his friends behind.

The pair watched as the TARDIS began fading without them on the other side of the doors. It didn't feel right, leaving him on his own with all that guilt running through his head.

The Doctor finally had some peace to think of River alone. Was Amy right, was this feeling not only guilt, but love? The Doctor had to find out the truth... someday.

Today he was just mourning the death of a simply amazing woman, the same woman who he might even end up spending the rest of his life with. Just then, every moment he had spent with River so far was coursing through his mind, the happy times and the sad times, the fun times and the scary times... and most importantly, all of that running.

He remembered every moment up until the only one he wanted to forget- her death. Just seeing her in the Library and the countdown reaching zero, then the blinding white light and with that... she was gone, gone from his life. This River was gone; she was inside Cal without him by her side. A new River comes to see him every once in a while but, this River- the one who had died was the one he began to develop feelings for. As he remembered, a tear came rolling down his cheek. He ran his fingers through his hair and breathed very shallowly.

He had to see her again, to make sure she was okay. To spend as much time with her as he can, while he can before that dreaded day comes again. His eyes glanced over the controls, he wanted to set them but, where would he set them to go? River was enigmatic and unpredictable so he had no clue where and when she would be.

"I wish I knew where you were..." he whispered to himself as another tear escaped his eye. Both of his hearts ached at the thought of not knowing where River was, what she was doing. He just hoped that she was okay, wherever she was.

The TARDIS let out a noise, like it was trying to speak to the Doctor. It could feel his pain; it understood the Doctor so well and sometimes even more than he understood himself. "What is it old girl?" he questioned placing one hand on the control panel and was running it along the edge as he walked around in a circle around it.

The noise grew louder as the Doctor reached a certain point of the control panel. He paused and looked at the section he stopped at. In front of him was the phone. He knew what the TARDIS was implying now and he smiled. His hand reached towards the phone.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The River runs cold...

At the very same time, on 51st century Earth, River Song was returning from a very long and eventful day. Firstly, she had been forced to flee her home in the city as the law finally caught up to her and now she's living in her isolated countryside cottage, shut off from everyone. Next, she was fired from her job due to not being there for so long and to top that off, she had a fallout with her four friends- Anita, Proper Dave, Other Dave and Miss Evangelista for not defending her when she was fired... What a bad day she was having.

She closed the front door, took her shoes off and made her way to the sofa. Tears were forming in her eyes, why must it all happen today, the day she returns to the city? She just wanted a shoulder to cry on, a voice of understanding. She could cope with a lot, but not all at once and on her own. No matter how hard she tried to shut it out, it made her feel worse.

River curled up on the sofa with a cushion on her lap, she sat in complete darkness sobbing. At least, here she could release all of the emotions she tries to hide from everyone else.

After a long while, River stopped sobbing and drew a deep breath. She stood and walked to the kitchen and made some coffee, to take her mind off of things for a little while. When she returned to the living room, she turned on the high-tech radio next to the sofa and the song that was playing was 'Haven't met you Yet.' by Michael Buble. It made her think of _him_ as she listened to the words.

_I'm not surprised, not everything lasts_

_I've broken my heart so many times, I've stopped keeping track_

_Talk myself in, I talk myself out_

_I get all worked up, and then I let myself down_

_I tried so very hard not to lose it_

_I came up with a million excuses_

_I thought I thought of every possibility_

She sat on the sofa again by the radio remembering everything she'd been through with him. She took a sip of coffee and listened some more, what a coincidence that this song would play on the day she misses him the most...

_And I know someday it'll all turn out_

_You'll make me work, so we can work, to work it out_

_Promise you kid, I'll give so much more than I get_

_Mmmmm _

_I just haven't met you yet_

River remembered all of the running they've done, all of the places they've been, everything they've seen...

_I might have to wait, I'll never give up_

_I guess its half timin' and the other half's luck_

_Wherever you are, whenever it's right_

_You'll come out of nowhere and into my life_

She sat still, this song felt as if it was describing her life with him, the most complex thing in the universe. Time froze around her as the song was still playing and echoing around the room.

_And I know that we can be so amazing_

_And baby, your love is gonna change me_

_Now I can see every possibility_

_And I know somehow it'll all turn out_

_You'll make me work so we can work to work it out_

_Promise you kid, I'll give so much more than I get_

_Mmmmm_

_I just haven't met you yet_

River wondered if he would ever speak to her again, it's been so long since she'd last seen him. She has been preoccupied with 'other business' but, now she has no job or friends to visit. She remained alert, just in case the noise of the TARDIS would whistle through the wind once more although; she was still focussing on the song.

_They say all's fair in love and war_

_But I won't need to fight it, we'll get it right and we'll be united_

_..._

_And I know that we can be so amazing_

_And being in your life is gonna change me_

_And now I can see every single possibility_

_And someday it'll all turn out_

_And I'll work to work it out_

_Promise you kid... I'll give more than I get_

_Than I get, than I get, than I get_

_Oh, you know it'll all turn out_

_And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out_

_Promise you kid I'll give so much more than I get_

_Yeah,_

_I just haven't met you yet_

_..._

As the song started to finish, River still sat thinking about him and the tears began to flow again, why must their relationship be so complicated? She blames herself...

All of the songs that were playing made her feel more and more depressed, guilty and lonely. She turned the volume down, not off as she couldn't bear the silence and she wasn't in the mood for television. "I need you to mend my broken heart, my Doctor." River sobbed. She looked out of the window and up at the stars hoping that he would show up.

The night just dragged on, and River was sitting on the sofa again with the radio playing quietly in the background. Now the song that was playing was 'Rule the World' by Take That.

River picked up her blue diary from the coffee table and her fingers traced the pattern of the TARDIS on the front cover. She smiled faintly as she thought of him again. She opened it and flicked through the pages. She let out a sigh. "Where are you? I need you..." she whispered.

The pitter-patter of raindrops on the window grew louder as the rain grew heavier; it was almost as if the sky was crying for River. She looked out of the window again to see the rain splash on the pavement, in the pond and on the grass in her back garden. It saves her the trouble of watering her plants for now. The rain was so heavy that she couldn't hear the radio anymore, just the splashing of millions of water droplets.

She still tried to listen out for the TARDIS, but nothing and she slowly began losing hope. The one day she needs him the most, he's nowhere...

River sighed as she went to wash out her mug that had the coffee in. Just then, a faint ringing was being muffled by the radio, the rainwater and the tap water. It was the phone and the person calling refused to hang up until they got an answer...

**A/N: If you have watched my video that I put a link to in Chapter 1 then you'll notice that the song in it is different to the one that I wrote the lyrics for in this chapter and that is because I feel that both songs suit the Doctor and River really well.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This was supposed to be a romantic, yet sad chapter. They haven't seen each other in months and they meet in the rain (for added dramatic effect! ;) and a conventional sad reunion) Many thanks to PrettyPinkOrchard for helping me create the kiss part when they come face to face, she's an amazing author and if you don't know how good she is, then go and read her fanfiction!**

Chapter 3: A Reunion worth a Thousand Tears

River paused for a moment and turned off the tap. "... Phone!" she cried as she heard the ringing over the rain. The song on the radio now was 'I Love it when you Call' by The Feeling- perfect for the occasion. A tear rolled down her cheek as she ran to the living room.

The Doctor held the phone to his ear and he heard the dial tone. "Come on, River. Pick up the phone." He mumbled to himself. He clenched his fists as he waited with anticipation.

River ran to the phone and picked it up. She cleared her throat, trying to conceal her sadness. "Hello?" she said to the speaker. Her voice was slightly trembling. She assumed it would be more bad news, as if her day couldn't get any worse.

The Doctor was so happy to hear her voice again. It was the best sound he ever heard, her warm, angelic voice. "Hello River... it's me." However, his tone was flat, miserable, and unusual, yet he was happy to speak to her, to have an opportunity to see her again.

"...Doctor?" She was delighted to know that he was there. She smiled and exhaled out of pure happiness. Maybe her day was just turning around.

"River... We need to talk..." his voice was serious and sad at the same time. A tear rolled down his face as he spoke.

"Oh, okay then..." River understood that it was serious. Her mood dropped, she knew that this was no laughing or passionate matter... it has to be serious if he was upset.

And with that, the Doctor hung up. River was still holding the phone; she was confused at what just happened, how was this conversation going to turn out?

Moments later, the sound that River wanted to hear for so long was whistling through the wind, just as she hoped. She placed the phone back down and ran to the door. Her heart skipped a beat out of pure excitement to see this man again. The blue police box was materialising in her garden and the light shone through the glass of the door.

She pulled open the door and she met the Doctor's gaze straight away, he was soaking wet and his eyes were blood-shot, as were hers. Raindrops dripped off the ends of his hair and ran down his face. He leaned his arm against the doorway and ran his other hand through his wet hair. The rain fell onto his bowtie, the same bowtie that she's seen him wear on numerous occasions.

His red, sore eyes focussed on the woman who stood before him. She was absolutely stunning as always; she was wearing a pale green knee-length dress with a black cardigan that had long enough sleeves to pull over her hands. She rested her arm on the door and she was standing tense. The pair stared into each other's blood-shot eyes for all of a moment and studied each other's expressions. The awkward silence had to be broken, before the Doctor too felt tense as well as guilty.

It wasn't long after that the Doctor wrapped his arms around River and pulled her close to his body. He most definitely loved her and couldn't live without her. He lifted her up and with his arms wrapped around her waist he spun her in a circle, being with her was the best feeling in his life.

The rain fell on her as she was spun outside in the dark night. She had only been in the rain for a few moments and she was already drenched from head to toe- literally, she wasn't wearing any shoes!

Her soul lit up, this was the best thing that happened to her all day. She laughed and this made the Doctor's hearts ache, he knew her fate, he knew that it was coming. The day he would never see her again, the day that the laughter stops, the passion dies and the Doctor feels empty.

Then their lips met in the most passionate of kisses as the Doctor set her back down. The kiss said 'Good bye and I love you.' River was taken by surprise but it wasn't long before she gained complete control over the kiss- she always does, even if it takes some persistence and effort.

As they kissed, water streamed down their faces and concealed the tears that they were both trying so hard to hide. Their bodies glistening as the shining stars reflected off each droplet. Many magical moments passed and neither of them were even thinking about parting yet. The only time they stopped was for air and then their lips interlocked again and again. Their tongues in perfect harmony, like they've done this a thousand of times before, just not in the right order.

The Doctor moved one of his arms further up River's back and stroked it gently whilst the other remained firmly around her waist. His hand fitted her curve perfectly and he never wanted to move away.

As they parted, the Doctor was still holding River in his arms and he looked into her eyes. Those beautiful, limpid eyes of hers that hold so much mystery and yet so much passion. He missed gazing into them all these months that they were apart.

Then the Doctor focussed on the matter in hand. "I needed to see you..." he mumbled with a weak voice. Just the thought of it all was as painful as being stabbed in both of his hearts with the sharpest and coldest of daggers.

The feeling inside of the Doctor was hurting so much, the guilt of seeing her die for him. He wanted to tell her everything, but it would hurt her and he hated to hurt her. He hugged River again, keeping her close to his hearts.

"I need to be with you, River Song. I can't let you leave me again." He kept saying her name, treasuring it for as long as he could. He passionately kissed her again and this time River made his lips stay interlocked with hers as she placed one hand on the back of the Doctor's head and pulled him close.

River listened to the Doctor's comment as she continued kissing him. Then she stopped and pulled her head away, she saw another tear escaping his eye and she wiped it away.

"I'm not going anywhere, not without you..." she replied in a soft, tender tone.

He faintly smiled and she leaned her head against his chest.

"... I love you." The Doctor whispered into River's wild, golden blonde curls. He kissed the top of her head. "...And I'm sorry, River, I'm so sorry..." he whispered.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: This is the last chapter to the story, many thanks to PrettyPinkOrchard for the help and support. I was also inspired to write this chapter by a playlist that I composed on my ipod when I was piecing this all together and the playlist consisted of the songs: 'Haven't met you Yet' by Michael Buble, 'I'm With You' by Avril Lavigne, 'If Only Tears could Bring You Back' by The Midnight Sons, 'Stay Together' by Nini Camps, 'Rule the World' by Take That, 'Happy Ending' by MIKA, 'Love it when You Call' by The Feeling, 'Crazy Love' by Michael Buble, 'Angels' by Robbie Williams, 'Piece of my Heart' by Beverley Knight, 'You are not Alone' by Michael Jackson, 'Somewhere, Someday' by NSYNC, 'With All Your Heart' by PLUS One, 'Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now' by Starship, 'Don't say you Love Me' by M2M, 'I'll Always Remember You' by Kristen Price and 'I'd Wait for Life' by Take That. I hope you agree when I say that these songs all in their own way make me think of the Doctor and River's relationship, and enjoy the ending!**

Chapter 4: The Truth Hurts

As they released their hold on each other, the Doctor was growing nervous. He didn't want to tell River what he needed to, but it's the only way to make things right, to make it stop hurting.

River stepped aside to let the Doctor in. His shoes squeaking on the floor with each step and River couldn't help but giggle immaturely for a short moment. The Doctor smiled, he loved making her happy.

He turned on his heels to face River, his expression sad and guilty. River knew this was serious; she closed the door gently and approached him as he sat down on the sofa. She pulled the sleeves of her cardigan over her hands and folded her arms across her chest. She wasn't going to let her problems swamp over the Doctor as well, so she kept them to herself.

The Doctor patted the sofa cushion next to him and River cautiously made her way over to sit next to him. As she sat, the Doctor extended his arm around her and pulled her close to him. She fell into his chest and lifted her feet on the sofa to get comfortable. His arm rested on hers and he kept her close, never wanting her to leave.

"... River..." the Doctor began, although he was unsure how to continue. She placed her hand on the Doctor's thigh and squeezed gently as she looked up into his dark, wise brown eyes. "... I needed to see you again; I can't live without you... River, it hurts... So much..." He continued meaning every word and hanging onto that meaning until the end of time.

River looked at him. She didn't know why he was saying all of this now, what had brought it on? "Sweetie, what hurts? Is there something you're not telling me?" she asked still looking in his apologetic eyes- he just couldn't lie to her anymore.

The Doctor sighed; he really couldn't lie to this amazing woman who sacrificed her life to save him, the one who has always stuck by him no matter what. He closed his eyes as he nodded, he didn't want to see her reaction when he admitted he was hiding something.

River moved away from his chest but, still sitting next to him. She dreaded to think what secret he was keeping from her. The Doctor moved uneasily and exhaled heavily.

"... I don't know how to say this, I've kept it a secret for so long... but I can't stand the pain I feel anymore..." he began. He looked into her curious, yet sad eyes. He was mentally kicking himself and he will be for years after this. "... I shouldn't say it, I couldn't... It will only hurt you River and I don't want to hurt you again."

"Tell me, Sweetie, I want to know." River pleaded. "I'm not letting it hurt you, whatever one of us goes through; the other must go through too."

The Doctor sighed, she was so loyal and loving that maybe he should tell her. "...You know how we always meet in the wrong order?" he began. She nodded, unsure where this was leading. "Well... the first time I met you, was the last time you'd meet me. You died, River, you sacrificed yourself instead of me; you stopped me so I could see you in the future... " he started to weep again as he pulled River closer to him.

"...What?" her voice was trembling and she began weeping too. She leaned into the Doctor's chest and never wanted to leave.

"I'm so sorry, River... I feel the guilt loom over me every time I see you, wondering how I could have let you do that. Every time I see you, it kills me. Knowing your fate, knowing that we won't be together forever... I want to, River; I want to be with you forever... Please forgive me, I didn't want to keep it from you for this long, I didn't want to hurt you."

"Oh, Doctor... You don't need forgiving and... I'm not leaving you ever again." River whispered through the tears. She sighed with a tremble and clenched her fists, finding this out was a shock to her.

"It's okay, I know it is a shock, but you're fine now. I can save you River, I won't let you leave my life." The Doctor said comfortingly. He knew she was uneasy, and he wanted to calm her down.

Her eyes were blood-shot and she was shaking. The thought of the man she loves watching her die, when he doesn't even know her it made her sick.

The Doctor just simply cradled her in his arms and saying comforting and romantic things to her. She began to feel better, safe and loved.

The pair just sat on the sofa, safe in each other's hold as the rain wept for them outside. The Doctor kissed River on the forehead and just looked at her, his hearts ached as she cried. He made her cry, and he never wants to make her cry again.

The Doctor looked out of the window from the sofa and he gazed at the stars. "Why is it so difficult... to be in love?" he accused as he thought.

"I love you, River. I always will, no matter how complicated it is to be with you." He kept saying her beautiful name, treasuring it whilst he can.

River has always been there for the Doctor when he needed her, and he'll not leave her now when she is at her weakest. He hadn't released his hold on her for quite some time now, he loved her company. Her beating heart thumping against the Doctor's chest felt like nothing he'd felt before, the most soothing feeling that calmed him down. He stopped weeping and she stopped worrying.

They hadn't said anything for a while then the Doctor sighed. "It's complicated... to be in love and when it's such a strong passion, the more it hurts..."

River looked up at him and she slipped her hands behind his head and pulled him into a kiss of passion. "Love is just a complex wonder and people do crazy things out of it... and I'm no exception." River smiled for the first time this evening.

The Doctor returned the smile, he had a smudge of River's lipstick on his lips and she giggled. This woman makes him feel alive, complete. How could he ever keep a secret from her? She'd already forgiven him and gotten over the shock, she was just simply amazing.

As he listened to the radio and cradles River in his arms, the Doctor realised something: Everyone has a special song and everyone has a special someone.

The Doctor has them both right here curled up next to him.

River Song is his love, his everything, his world.


End file.
